Mikaela Brooke Waden

I wanted to spend some time reflecting on my cute, little, almost 17 month old daughter, who we adoringly call Munch (short for Munchkin).

We are blessed to have her in our family. Her temperment is so sweet and easy-going! I believe she's had two temper-tantrums so far, and both were short-lived. Mikaela LOVES to cuddle and give hugs and kisses. Randomly throughout the day she'll run up and give me a hug and say "Ahhh". It's precious!

She loves music and has pretty good rhythm, which must come from Kevin! She'll stick out her bootie and bounce up and down... and sometimes she'll start twirling around. She's beginning to sing more often and has favorite songs :) Oh, and she LOVES Kevin's guitar!

If we could be outside all day long, Mikaela would be such a happy camper! She loves the outdoors! She asks many times throughout the day to go "bye-bye".

It's amazing how much she learns and how quickly she learns it. Her vocabulary is expanding a lot faster than I had imagined. She knows the words for ball, juice, book, mama, dada, dog, back, bye-bye, hello, amen, more, bath (except she doesn't pronounce the b, so it sounds like a bad word), banana, blue, cheese, duck... I'm sure there's more, but I can't think of them right now :) Because a lot of her words aren't clear yet, she's definitely getting more frustrated when we can't understand her! She's become my little helper :) She helps with laundry by putting clothes in the dryer and folding/matching socks. She's also pretty good at cleaning up. She enjoys putting things in baskets.

Mikaela is a goofball. She loves to laugh and make you laugh. She loves to run around and attempt to jump. She has a rocking chair that she stands on and jumps off. Her imagination is growing. She plays pretend by feeding her stuffed animals and giving them hugs and kisses. She loves her Dora tent and tunnel that she tackles. She loves to play with Kevin... probably more than anything! Oh, and she loves to color :)

Mikaela is a little giver. Everytime someone comes over she immediately finds something... anything... to give them. Even at the park she'll look for something to give... normally it's a piece of bark.

She's still a great sleeper! She goes to bed at 7:30pm and wakes up around 7:30am. During the day she has "quiet time" during the mid-morning for about an hour in her crib. And she naps from 1:30 till about 4pm. It's nice.

There's sooo much more I could write about Mikaela! She is growing like crazy and turning into such a beautiful girl. I couldn't ask for a better little Munch!

Shaken

Why is it that you can clearly see God at work in the lives of those around you, yet have a hard time pinpointing what He's doing in your own life? Why can life seem so cloudy or distracting? It's like a shaken up jar that should be clear, but it's muddy instead. My insides feel muddy.

I've come to realize how much of my identity and self-worth come from the approval of others through my involvement in ministry. Since stepping out of youth work and into the big city of Austin, everything within has been jarred. Doubts spin around in my mind. I question whether or not we made a mistake moving to Austin... maybe we misunderstood God? Maybe I don't really know when God's speaking to me rather than me speaking to me. Maybe I'm not as close to God as I thought. OR maybe I've let emotions rule my mind instead of God's Truth. Why is it so hard to take every thought captive... and actually filter out the thoughts that aren't from God?

This has been a good time of soul-searching... hard and lonely... yet good. I'm at a resting point in my journey with my King. I have finally been able to stop performing for others, because I have no audience here in Austin. I feel free to be me. I long to be more vulnerable and share my heart without fear of ridicule or judgement or disappointment. The only bad thing is I don't really know how to open up. I guess writing this is my first step.

God has been reminding me to find ALL of my worth from Him... alone... not what I do or say... but from my relationship with Him... period. He doesn't love me any more because of what I do. I'm already approved in His eyes and that's all that really matters. I desperately want to stop living with fear... in a bubble... to get the approval of my brothers and sisters in Christ. It doesn't matter what other people think! "Be the Orange!" was our saying with the 5th and 6th grade. It means to be different with a purpose. It's time for me to let go and pull down the screen that has been hidding my real heart. It's time to be free, well, to be me!

Naked Baby

So, Mikaela LOVES to be naked.

After bath time I normally let her run around in the nude. I'm not sure why this started, but she has so much fun running around without a care in the world, that I give in and let her do it. Normally her arms are raised up high in the air while she runs. It's pretty funny... until she pees. She's peed twice in her bathroom cabinet and several times on the floor.

Yesterday, Kevin went to get her after her nap and found her in somersalt position (head on the mattress while standing up) with no pants or diaper on. I guess she decided she didn't need them on anymore and tossed them out of her crib! Thank goodness she didn't have any poopies! BUT she did pee and of course that's where her head was on the mattress... that's my girl :)