Chosen

Here's some of my story for those of you who haven't heard...

I am who I am because of Jesus. My heart has been safely held in the hands of my God. I am in love with the King of the Universe and because of that I am at rest.

My dad died when I was 13 months old. I am an only child. My mom raised me on her own. She was a very talented seamstress. From Kindergarten thru 8th grade I went to a Catholic school. I learned a lot about God. He was the Creator. He made everything and everyone. He had a Son named Jesus who came to earth and died on a cross. I believed this, yet I didn't understand why Jesus died on a cross. I didn't understand for a long time.

My mom was beautiful. She was from Guatemala. She lived a hard life. We were pretty close. After 8th grade we decided to leave Indiana and head to Texas. We craved something new... something different... something refreshing. So we packed our bags and drove to Austin. Once we got settled in, life became what it was in Indiana. Nothing had changed other than the scenery. Bummer. But then a neighbor invited us to her church, a non-denominational Bible church. That is when my journey really began.

The kids in the youth group were different. There was something about them that drew me in. They had peace and excitement. They genuinely cared about each other. They took me in and became my friends. I began really watching them and trying to figure out what was different and how I could be like them. A year or so went by. Then something clicked. I learned why Jesus died on the cross. He died for sin. My sin. Your sin. Sin (all the stuff we say, do or think that displeases God) is a barrier between us and God. Since God is holy and perfect, He can't be around sin... and we are full of it. Thankfully, God loves us so much that He came up with a remedy. The remedy was His Son, Jesus. Jesus had to die for our sin. Blood had to be shed. Jesus took ALL of our sin (past, present, and future) upon himself. And died. For me; because of me. For you; because of you. But three days later, He rose from the dead. He conquered death! He is now alive! Once I understood that, I became alive as well. I finally admitted that I was a sinner and needed to be saved because without Jesus I was going to Hell. I told God that I believed in Him and Jesus and wanted a close, intimate relationship with Him. I wanted to be a part of His family and He gladly took me in. I became is daughter. I was so excited.

A couple weeks later things got hard. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. The doctor said it was terminal. I couldn't believe it. Why God? Why would you let this happen? Especially since I JUST became a part of your family! Aren't you suppose to keep us safe... and healthy? For two years my mom struggled with this horrible disease. I watched her body deteriorate. I watched her sink. She was alone. I wasn't really there for her. I was in high school and didn't know how to handle it well. She shed many lonesome tears. But God was there for her. He held her hand. He carried her when she couldn't walk anymore. He listened to her when she poured out her heart. He took her fears, her pain, her uncertainties. He did this because she was also His daughter. My mom enjoyed fellowship with God for 8 months before He took her home. She passed away one month before I graduated high school.

Fast forward 9 years and here I am now. I am a wife. I am a mother. God has given me an AMAZING husband and two BEAUTIFUL daughters. God has been faithful. He has taken good care of me. Looking back, I am reassured even more that God will continue to take care of us. He has our lives in complete control. I can rest. I can have peace. I can have joy. I can laugh. My God will never leave me or forsake me. You can have this as well. Ask God. He'll be there for you. He'll take you into His family... just as you are.

Pictures

Life is definitely a little harder with two girls, but sooooo much fun!!!! Keira is a VERY easy-going baby. She loves to sleep... a little too much... which makes middle of the night feedings a challenge! She has pretty blue eyes, dimples (I think), and makes the funniest faces :)

Mikaela has done surprisingly well adjusting to her new sister. She likes to kiss her, pat her head, and touch her nose and toes. Mikaela tries to mimick any noise Keira makes... burps, grunts, and cries. It seems like she's trying to understand Keira. We're trying very hard to make sure Mikaela feels loved and secure in our family, but please pray for her sweet heart!

I've been recovering very smoothly... a lot easier and faster than my first! I feel great other than being tired :) God's been good to us. We're extremely thankful!

Keira Jade

At 4:21 a.m. on March 18, 2008, we welcomed our beautiful little girl into this world.

It all started when Laura started having contractions in the afternoon, so we decided to let Mikaela spend the night with her grandma just in case we had a baby. We went to the hospital at about 7 pm, and got sent home at about 8:45. We were super bummed. However, the bumness didn't last that long. She started having contractions about 3 minutes apart at 1:30 in the morning, so we booked it to the hospital! We got there at about 2:30 and had a baby within 2 hours!!! She came out weighing 7lbs 12oz (supposedly. we think she was a little smaller than that, but whatever) and she was 20 1/2 inches long. Unfortunately, she came so quickly that Laura didn't the epidural (sp?) that she so desperately wanted. But she survived, and everyone is all healthy and awesome.

We are home and trying to figure out how to live life with 2 little girls at home. So far, it's amazing. Mikaela loves the baby. She looks at her, points, and says, "Baby." It's adorable. She also likes to kiss little Keira on the head, then say, "Good girl." She's so cute. Anyways, we appreciate your prayers and messages.

Thanks for reading!!

A glimpse into our week...

Daddy dancing with his princess to the "Cinderella" song.

Mikaela in her "big girl" bed. She is learning to sleep there instead of the crib. We're in the process of mastering naptime before moving to bedtime. So far she's done remarkably well! We're so proud :)

Stacking blocks! This is her all-time record of 14 (almost 15) blocks! Way to go Mikaela!

Me at 36 weeks :)

The Battle Within

I know most of you who read this like reading Laura's thoughts. Well today you are stuck with mine. Please give some feedback, as I really am struggling with direction in my life.

-Kevin

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done."
Matthew 16:24-27

If you were to ask the average American what does it mean to "gain the world," you would recieve an answer about money. For most people, having money is one of the most important things. Some will say, "Having money makes everything easier." Others will tell you, "Having money makes it easier to be happy." We have let the devil replace joy with money. We have let the devil put in our minds that how much money a man has determines his success in life. How sad is it that we have let ourselves be duped into thinking that life is about the magic dollar? What good is it if a man profits the world, but loses his soul? That being said, how much is enough, and how much is too much? These are questions I have been struggling with for a while now. I know that a big responsibility of mine, being the man of the house, is to provide financially for my family. But what does that really mean? By provide, does it simply mean that I have to make enough to pay the bills and that's it? The most frequent answer I get from people, is that it means I must earn enough income to fit the type of lifestyle I want for my family. I want my family to see that the most important thing in the world to me is my savior Jesus Christ, and to know that I am more than willing to give all I have for His glory. If I give everything, am I being irresponsible, or am I being to passionate about God, or am I making an excuse as to why we can't afford nice things? Why do we put ourselves and our "lifestyles" over the maker of the universe? That is something I will never understand. The problem with all this, is that I still have a family to provide for financially. I am really struggling with following my heart and gong into full-time ministry, or pursuing a job that will make enough money for me never to have to worry about the bills being paid. I want my girls to have a wonderful life, but does that have to mean that we have lots of money. It seems like all the "successfull" christians have big homes and nice cars. Why? How can they call that losing their lives for God? How is that denying yourself to take up your cross? Yet, we seem to not have a problem with "christians" who have lots of money. I spoke with my mentor the other day, who is a pastor and works oddjobs on his free time to make ends meat, and he talked about the sacrifice of the ministry. Deitrich Bonhoffer wrote a whole book on the cost of discipleship. From what I see in the Scripture, the cost of following God with everything you have is a lot less than the alternative. So what if I live in a house that has a leaky roof and a weird smell to it. If I am seeking Him with all my heart, isn't that all He wants? Isn't our whole purpose on Earth to bring glory to God? From what I see in the Bible, our sole meaning in life is to love God and love people. That's all he wants. Does that mean that we can't have money? Or that we shouldn't have money? Or that we should have just enough? What is just enough? Why can't I have more? Why do I want more? It's so that I can love me. And have the nice things that make me happy. Where in the Bible does it say anything about accruing wealth to make me happy? Everything I read says that the more money I spend on me and mine, the worse off I am. You might say, "But Kevin, isn't it once I'm in, I'm in?" Sure is. And if that's how you view God, I feel bad for you. "He will eward each person according to what he has done." If you spend your time making money for you, He will reward you accordingly. If you spend time bringing glory to His name, he will reward you beyond all you can imagine. Does this mean that we should all become priests and take a vow of poverty? I don't think so. So, I guess I'm back to square one. How much is enough? How much is too much? I just can't see being a millionaire and saying that I'm living wholeheartedly for the Lord. God, teach me Your ways! Whatever You would have me do, my answer is, "Yes Lord, walking in the way of your laws I wait for you. For Your name and Your renown are the desire of my heart."

Happy Valentine's Day my Love

You are the greatest gift God has given me!

I love you more than I thought I could possibly love someone.

You brighten my days.

You lead our family faithfully.

You are such a joy to be around.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." A.W. Tozer

I've been chewing on that for a couple weeks now and honestly I'm ashamed of the raw thoughts I've hidden deep within my heart. My view of the Creator of the world has been so casual, so simple, so not accurate. I've forgotten how HUGE and HOLY and BEYOND my understanding is our God. It doesn't matter that my mind can't fathom who God really is... all his glory and layers and power... because that just makes Him greater and more desirable. Looking at God in this light has given me more peace than I've had in a long time....

On January 31, Kevin and I were thrown a curve ball. He had his oral board interview (basically the last step before entering police academy) that day. We were beyond confident that he'd pass with flying colors. He came home devastated. There had been a discrepancy with the polygraph test prior to the interview and the board thought he was being dishonest so he was permenantely disqualified! It didn't matter whether he answered yes or no to the question, but the fact that he couldn't remember or was unsure about the answer made them question his honesty. One Officer (not a part of the board) said he was being too honest... trying too hard to answer with all sincerity. What a weird dilemna. So, where do we go from here?

Are we running from God? Are we following Jonah's footsteps and now stuck in a yucky fish? Is that why we've had so much uneasiness? Why has Kevin's pursuits of a normal/wordly job been unsuccessful?

Something clicked this week.

Kevin had been fighting the urge of becoming a junior high youth pastor for many years and for many valid reasons...fears... uncertainties. Yet, he's always been drawn to youth ministry. Working with students is one of his passions and he's VERY good at it. I've never seen anyone as gifted and fit for youth as Kevin. So through all this chaos, he's finally at a point where he can put aside the fears and start pursuing an occupation in full-time minstry. We're open to ANYTHING God has in store for us! It's funny how much more at peace I am, even though we're about to have a second daughter in 5 1/2 weeks, and we have NO IDEA where God's taking us!

BUT He is taking us somewhere... "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11