A Wrong Turn Can Hurt

Four different Jehovah Witness couples came to my door within two weeks of each other before the thought even crossed my mind that maybe God was up to something AND that I should be ready and open to it too. The main person that kept knocking at my door to drop of pamphlet after pamphlet was an older lady named Bobbie. For some reason (God) my heart softened towards her and I forgot all the inconveniences that had come when she knocked at my door that one particular afternoon. We talked briefly, as I was trying to keep Keira from shooting out the open door :) I told Bobbie I was a Christian, believed in Jesus, you know, the Gospel. She nodded, smiled, and asked if I were willing to do a study about "what the Bible really teaches." Hmmm, I thought, this could be fun. Well, it hasn't been fun. It's been frustrating to say the least. But I have come to really, genuinely care about Bobbie. I could write tons and tons of posts about her beliefs vs. the Bible, but that's not where I'm going at this point in our journey. Maybe another day. I do want to say their beliefs are twisted. They take verses out of context left and right and then try to explain them through the eyes of man. Sure, it may SOUND logical, yet it's not Truth. It's far from it. It's scary-far them it. We're going through a little Jehovah Witness book and haven't really gotten that deep despite the fact that we've been meeting for months now. I feel like I'm in an unique situation because in Bobbie's eyes I'm the student. I get to ask the hard questions because that is what's expected of me. Kinda a cool situation. Anyways, things were going... not amazing well, yet not bad either. Then out of the blue Bobbie stopped coming over. This happened to be during Christmas, so I thought she was busy or something, even though she doesn't celebrate this particular holiday. More weeks passed and I started freaking out a little because she is older and mentioned health problems. I thought maybe she died, which would make this possibly the worst blog post ever because we all know exactly where people who don't believe in Jesus (as God and Savior) go....
Well, she came back to my door not too long ago alive (praise God!), but in horrible pain. She was diagnosed with Krome's disease AND needed surgery on her rotary cuff from abuse years ago.

Sometime during our "break" my focus shifted. I began to think that if I gather enough knowledge and present the gospel (again) well enough and clear enough that she would believe AND then I could prove to MYSELF that I would and could be a good pastor's wife*. YIKES!!! Did those thoughts really come from my head?! When did this become so ME-centered, so selfish? I firmly believe God made Bobbie and I take a break until my attitude drastically changed and became Christ-like again. I can do NOTHING and I mean NOTHING on my own. I can NEVER become "good" enough. Never, ever, ever! I can never make someone believe in Jesus by persuading them or presenting great information. Only God calls them into a love relationship with Himself. I have no part in it, other than maybe moving my lips up and down so God can speak through me. This isn't about me. This isn't even about Bobbie. The ONLY reason we're meeting is because I love Jesus. Period. Man, God spoke a lot of hard truth into my head (through Kevin) that made me sit down, examine and re-examine my heart, and finally repent.

I thank and praise God for not giving up on me or taking away this opportunity when my attitude became sinful. I'm excited to see what God is up to in both my life and Bobbie's life :)

*For those of you who aren't up to speed... we are headed to Australia (with a small team) to church plant in hopefully September 2010! We plan to be there for about 5 years or how ever long it takes to get a "church" up and running and leaders trained... and then we'll move somewhere else and do the same thing... over and over again... for Lord-willing our whole lives :)