ready to let go?

So, I've been thinking lately about going overseas and what that really entails. It means leaving A LOT behind. I honestly can't let myself really, deeply think about it because it makes my heart hurt and pound really hard. Yet, I want to write about it, so you could keep me and my little heart in prayer.

Family. Gosh, I love my extended family. I love, love, love them! I don't want to leave them. I don't want to take my kids away from their grandparents. Mikaela has such a close relationship with them. When she was a baby I prayed for a supernatural bond between them, and God answered that prayer completely. It's hard to picture life without them close by. And I can't imagine how hard this is on Kevin.

Friends. God has blessed us with some deep friendships. Our friends KNOW and LOVE us. It'll be hard for them to come visit. Australia is a long way away and expensive to get to!

Stuff. As silly as this may sound, it'll be hard leaving our belongings behind. I'm not really attached to any material thing we have, yet the thought of giving it all away makes me a little sad. Maybe it's just the memories behind the stuff. I don't know. God has definitely been refining me AND reminding me that NOTHING else matters apart from Him. Our stuff is just stuff. It'll burn one day. It's not important. More than anything, I think I'm reminding myself of that truth :)

Anways, I feel torn. I know we can't deny the call God has for us. We've tried and it left us feeling miserable. I know my God is bigger. I know I need to think Truth instead of feelings. Yet, this is stuff I need to sort through in my head and prepare for in my heart. Am I ready to let go? Yesterday I was. Today I'm not sure. I guess it's something only God can get me through! Thanks for listening :)

It's Time

Over three years ago we felt called to missions. We actually felt called a long time before that, but thought it would be when we were a lot older and wiser :) It was three years ago when we realized we could go now, at our present age, with our future family. We were stoked. We started the missionary canidate process through our old church in Temple. The process is pretty long and as time wore on different fears began to settle in. When Mikaela became a part of our family, we let fear hold us back. I became terrified of losing her. The mission field became a scary place... too scary to raise a family in... especially a little girl. I began to block the thought of missions. I got to the point where I didn't even want to talk about it. Everywhere we went people would ask us about it and I'd say, "Yeah, we're still interested, but this isn't the right time... blah, blah, blah." Around the same time, Kevin became fearful about his financial responsibility as the provider of our family. The main reason we moved to Austin was to find a better job for him. Well, that didn't work. And God brought us to Killeen instead. Anyways, fear is such an ugly thing. It seems so rational at the time. It makes you question the simplest things. It made us run from God. We ran hard. We isolated ourselves. We tried to fit in with this world by pursuing financial gain. Like I said earlier, it didn't work. God has a different plan for us. He has removed the fear in our hearts AND we're ready to go. We have a place in mind, but we're still praying through whether or not it's the right place. All I know is that God has given us a sweet burden for the lost world. We're getting ready. It's time. We've been well equipped at TBC. We're using our gifts here in Killeen to change this city. And shortly (in less than 2 years) we'll be headed out! YAY!!

Please pray for us!

1. Our hearts to be set free from ANY fears.
2. A deep love for the people/youth in Killeen.
3. Boldness and courage to befriend our neighbors.
4. More time for Kevin to disciple and evangelize.
5. Our future missionary destination.

Thank you!

Unspectaculars

I've been tagged to list 6 unspectacular things about myself from Dacia, a college friend was has been very dear to my heart. Here are the rules:1. Link to the person who tagged you 2. Mention the rules on your blog 3. List 6 unspectacular quirks 4. Tag 6 bloggers by linking to them on your post then commenting them to let them know "they're it!"

Okay, here goes...

1. I'm addicted to ice-cream. I have been all my life. I feel like I need a bowl each day. In order to gain more self-control with this issue, I have recently devised a plan. No sweets when Kevin is gone. I can only have them when he's home and when he scoops out the ice-cream for me. He's done well with limiting my addiction :)

2. I have NO skill in organization. Just about every closet... cabinet... drawer has not been organized (except for the kitchen, because my friend, Janice, came over and did it herself). I really don't like this about myself. I like things organized, yet the thought of actually trying to do it overwhelms me. Everything out in the open looks great and put-together, but it's a different story behind those closed doors. Oh, and I was a secretary for two years prior to becoming a SAHM :)

3. Sometimes I let Mikaela eat popcorn for breakfast.

4. I love flip-flops. I wear them ALL the time. It's a rarity to find me in normal shoes... other than when I'm jogging. My mom-in-law commented about my tanlined toes just the other day :)

5. I have a childish fear of ghosts... even though I KNOW they do NOT exist. It all started in elementary school and sometimes I just can't shake it off. Therefore, I do NOT watch ghost movies or even vampire movies.

6. Singing. I love to sing. I have a pretty voice, but I'm tone deaf. I seriously can't tell if I'm "on" or not. Yet, somehow, without any effort, I normally end up singing harmony. I don't really know how to do it... it just comes out as the harmony. So, if you ever hear me singing and think it sounds cool... don't be impressed... because more than likely I have no idea what I'm doing :)

Okay, now I tag...

Heather, my instant and life-long friend. She and her family are missionaries in Mexico. We love these guys so much. She's the type of mom I'm trying to become.
Mary, my soul friend. Her presence refreshes me. Her life reminds me to crawl into the arms of God.
Lindsey, my new friend. She and her husband work with the youth group at our church. She's witty and real. I know her younger siblings pretty well, so I feel like I know her from them :)
Kevin, my studly and godly husband. His passion for God is REAL and DEEP and CONTAGIOUS and sometimes it makes me nervous... all in a good way, of course ;) I can't imagine living life without him!
Rachel, my neighbor friend. I haved loved, loved, loved living near her. She brings much joy and makes me at ease living in Killeen.